


my last goodbye

by mandyb1961



Category: Holby City
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 09:49:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20758400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandyb1961/pseuds/mandyb1961
Summary: Bernie's take on events leading up to and after MIA.





	my last goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> hate writing this but I think we all know now Bernie isn't coming back unless the hinted at plot twist that's coming in the NYE episode for Serena proves me wrong, and it wouldn't surprise me of what the idiots in charge behind or in front of the cameras are capable of.
> 
> Let's keep Bernie alive either here or on twitter and facebook i know she's not here or on a previous one I wrote earlier this year, but at least I have given her what she deserves a full military funeral and not some ill-thought out memorial service held in the hospital carpark.

The weather forecast was correct for once, but then it was the rainy season, hot very hot and stifling humid, god why did I ever agree to come here Nairobi was bad enough. Then I caught the eye of the reason and gave her a half a smile and followed through with a kiss. 

"I'd better get going before all hell breaks loose." I got a soft mummer back,

"Okay, but don't forget your equipment, and don't be late back if you can help it Charlie's coming over for tea, or whatever they call it."

I kissed her again; "promise now get some sleep I'll be back before you know it."

I gathered up my clothes and headed for a quick shower, I am not sure why that day I decided to walk to work normally I took our jeep, but it was market day I wanted to pick up some fresh fruit the kind both Alex and Charlotte both loved.

I hadn't even made it to the front door when I heard one heck of a thunderclap, then nothing, no rain but that wasn't unusual. What was I doing lying on the floor, I tried to get up but couldn't, I was flat on my stomach and I couldn't see what was preventing me. I heard my name being called. "Doctor Wolfe it's okay not to worry, just stay still."

I took some reassuring deep breaths and then nothing, no pain, good, but why was it black everything black ah the thunderstorm but again no rain. I tried to move and this time it worked I gingerly sat up weird couldn't do that earlier, my body armour still in my hand always hated wearing that even in the army issue ones always made me feel itchy and this one wasn't any different. 

I looked around and there were bodies on the floor, broken, smelt blood I felt instantly sick and threw up. Who was that next to me it was then I realised that was me, I saw what had pinned me to the floor it was the remains of a car that had been blown apart and one of the doors had landed on my waist and legs. 

So this is it I'd survived countless explosions, bombing raids and even being blown up by a roadside IED, but I hadn't survived this one. I got up and looked around and saw colleagues either already dead or dying or helping those that needed help.

I closed my eyes and when I opened them I was wearing my full dress Army uniform, my medals glinting in the sun, the weather was sunny but a little chilly. The last post was echoing around the graveyard, was this England or a little bit of Mogadishu, no it was the military graveyard in Cambridge I recognise it now. I looked around and saw them, my family, and the one true love of my life Serena. Alex had accepted that I loved her but I could never love her the way I loved her. 

Why Marcus here just to make sure I was really dead this time or supporting our children, he stood a little way from them, occasionally he would try and get the attention of either Alex or Serena and even the kids but they were all looking at my coffin being slowly lowered into the ground. Charlotte was squeezing Cameron's hand and the other squeezing Alex's. Who was also in her full military uniform. Dom and Lofty were standing either side of Serena.   
Couldn’t see Jason or Greta, which didn't completely surprise me as it would have been too much for him and them. 

our old General saluted me one last time as did Alex and my guard of honour, they like me, felt a drop of rain on my face and looked up it was raining and a distant rumble of thunder, I looked over to my family and saw Alex do an involuntary shudder when the thunder got louder. 

They took one final look at my future resting place and slowly walked to the local pub, and already there were junior members of our old regiment, including a trauma doctor making small talk with Hedrick, Jac and Fletch and the older Fletchlings. 

I gulped when I saw the montage of photographs of me, some going back to when I graduated as top cadet from Sandhurst, to my wedding god I hated that bloody dress, photos of the kids when they were babies, to even ones of Serena and me in France to one of my favourites of Alex and me taken on the evening of our engagement.

I felt a hand in my hand it was my dad's uncle Brigadier Alexander Lethbridge-Stewart, he lightly squeezed it "come on tiger, they'll be all okay eventually." 

I took one final look and heard my name again "three cheers for acting Major Berenice Griselda Wolfe."

I barely heard the hip hip as I faded away, but I did see Serena look at me and mouth not long before I join you Major.

**Author's Note:**

> again I all I checked the spelling and nothing else as I was again on autopilot when I wrote this and part of me is sorry but the bigger part of me is still very angry that they couldn't leave Bernie alone, and hate them even more because we won't see Jemma on Holby any more.
> 
> one last note I do not believe Jemma's lack of commitment I personally think they want to blame her for their lack of care and dare I say it even jealousy because maybie Bernie was more popular out of the berena partnership, as she started out being volunable, scared and Serena gave her the strength to be brave.


End file.
